tom

TOMAS MACKAY- 25.06.93

when your in a relationship for a long time its easy to become comfrotable.

im not the most confident person in the whole but the look i get when he see me- it relief love and unhinderd happiness.

he melts my heart with the way he looks at me.<3

when im away from him for too long my heart get sad, personly i can act fine but the piece of me he takes with him subbtracts from my optimism and the world seems less friendly, the unease you feel when you know a stroms is coming in.

but the just as the clouds are threatening to break over my head, his smile is the only thing i can see; he raidates happiness love joy and peace, my head fits right under his chim, my cold noes fnds the hollow you the bottom of his neck as he wrapps his arms around my waist and neck and whispers "heya baby, how was your day?" he'd kiss the top of my head like we'd been doing it for years and like he'll be doing 10 years from now. i'll buiry my face into his neck and tell him he smells of home, where i am isnt that important anymore, i never feel as safe as when i'm with him.

he's what i was missing- my other half

in my head,

how long will it take befor thing fall into place?

me and tom- fine again

me and charly- fine yay!

me and family- getting there

bit still i always feel like everythings still up in the air, like the snows still falling so you dont know what it'll be like in the morning. it could be bright sunshine when you wake up, you'll get the whole day off and everything will feel right; OR all heel could have broken lose. at the monment evrything affects me one tiny little things make me think im doing something wrong, like i'm walking on black ice. im trying my best to be what people need or want but sometimes i think that i shouldn't have to try that hard. you should never judge another persons path because you never know what their struggle is.

one thing that makes me truely sad is David isnt talking to me anymore, i dont even think he knows he doing it, it almost seems unconscience which make it even worse. no matter what happened with me and Jess he was a good friend and for most of the summer one of the best. we were the awsome foursome and we had a great summer. i miss my numpty.

you guys will always be my people and if you guys go off it's a shame ans you'll be sourly missed but if/when your done you could come back. it's my last year and i would really hate to leave it like this. ALONE.AKWARD.AFRAID.

tonight was good

we stayed in,

we drink and we ate and danced a little,

everyone had a bed,

and people actully waited till other people went to sleep befor canoodling.

i love everyone of my friends

and i think lifes looking up


xxx