Some News

I put myself out there and i didn't work, but i'm surprisingly fine <3

Gremany with Ellie, should be awesome. I love Jess, and David as he's being a total babe.

Ben, Will, Jed, Chris, Thea, David, Jess, Bessie <3, Ellie <3.

Actually life's good..... it'd going to be an awesome, I've got a year left till everyone leave but thats a awesome, a gift as they say.


much loves <3

far away..

i hate this feeling.. being to far away from home and everyone else :(

usally i wouldn't bother me, I dunno why i'm so stupidly possessive and irrational all the time.

i used to love it here, but theres too many memories, Tom, childhood things.. devoicing parents and loneliness.

i want to come home now.

I've kept having the sting of tears pop up all day and im not sure why, i just need to get home i think.


Bessie Chappell
ice cream
new
bracelets
watches
money
heart strings
phone calls
Llanthony
memories
Suri's bracelet
french pop music
David West Taylor
black out blinds
Blogs
Ngaio's birthday party
Sad heart
homesick

I was such a little emo kidd, im really sorry you had to put up with me.

the work never stops, schools so hard at the moment but I've got myself a tutor so i should be okay. i hate it. i started crying in school, about work.. i shouldn't mean this much to me but sadly it does. Hopeful it's gunne be okay, i need to get into a good uni.

Suri's going to Uni in a few months so that means no boyfriend, if we make it that far which i think we will becuase he awesome and we love each other.
maybe we'll surive it but if you think about it's pointless really, teenage love is beautiful and fleeting. i love him very much <3 but I'm not sure about how to deal with it seeing to go to his Uni i'll need 3 A's and a B so thats out the window.
I need to be with him, just sitting making me feel better by having him around, cheering me up and i know that he needs someone to make sure he continues to belive he's one of the best people i've ever met.
i dont really know how to deal with him going away...... but i want to believe that we could do the long distance thing but who know.









i love Suri but it's like a dark cloud over the dazzling beautiful thing that is us.

Llanthony

i really cant wait.

i really hope we get there all together and safe.

i really hope no one behaves stupidly.

if it goes well me Jess and Ngaio are god!




i love my boyfriend <3 so kind, having a night in tomorrow (Y) lots of cuddles.

JESSE i love you, I'd forgotten about how much i used to like hanging out with your, ofc we're no as close as once apon a time but that dosent lessen it at all how you would think it would.

Bessie- is an angel <3 i love her so much. i've never had one best friend really but she's fast becoming mine.


I failed my driving exam but hey ho let's not dwell.

little update <3

Driving=freedom

I driving so much, being a very small girl I don't often feel very powerful but behind the wheel it sorta feels like your in control.
which I'm liking TBH.
I'm so worried that I'll fail, because I'll cost my parents more money, i wont be able to drive and I wont get another test date for 10 weeks...
I can do everything, roundabouts, dual carriages ways and I know how to check the oil, my driving is up to test standard.
but every so often I'll do something stupid and wrong then I get worried about that thing I did and all my bad habits creep back in like looking at the gear stick (which your not allowed to do) which if I do persistently I will fail for.
it's very easy to fail on the test. you cant make any big failures but you can make 15 small failures which are not checking mirrors or something like that.
and when i have this weird spaz I start doing all those thing that eventually I will fail for.
i realised today walking home today that at the end of this week I could never walk home from school again, think about for the last 12 years of my life I've walked to and from school, it going to be weird to drive there, in the BubbleBee which is what I'm calling my yellow car with stripy black and yellow interior.
By the time of Llanthony if i pass I'll have been driving for about 3 weeks and i only got good and driving 6 weeks ago, I'm not perfect and I don't driving like your parents or taxi drivers, I drive too fast in small gaps and I have what my instructor says is "too fucking close" but I call it excellent spatial awareness.
I'll need time, so please if I'm driving you somewhere respect that I'm a newby at this and just sit back and be glad you'er getting a lift home.
but all of the is based on my passing my test.
if i fail it'll cost £63 for another test £195 for 10 more lessons including the 2 hours you need to actually complete the test.
I'm very lucky that my parent are footing the bill for this, i couldn't do it without them so im gunna try my hardest not to fail.


On other matters YAY no more exams and English CW is over now.
All I've got to do now is Photography, which will be over in a week so after the I'll have some breathing room...

Suriya <3 I had such a lovely weekend with you... your the kindest person to out up with my annoying bad parts.






My school friends like having dinner parties, I attended Mexican night with Suri on Saturday night. during a discussion in school I've decided i host a German night so Snitzels, reiberkuchen and proper beer.


altogether i think its going to be a good week <3

Exam Stress... -_-

All in all not a bad start to 2011,
It's been quiet, stressful but mostly calm.
Driving test is coming up soon, 24th Jan fingers crossed i should be driving by the afternoon :O
Suri's being a babe <3 looks after me when I'm feeling a bit crappy or not feeling like, he's so very very very lovely.