...

i feel so alone.

so very very alone.

everyone has someone. or even 2.

people aren't ment to be alone.

i can't stand that place.

bad phone calls

that was the worst night of my life.
i cried my heart out.
shaking so hard.
i couldn't breath the last time i cried like that was years ago.
i've been hinding and supressing everything, little bit everyday.
bad stuff doesn't go away, the more you hide it.
ben didn't ask my side, im not sure weather he was going to or just going to side with someone else.
charly wouldn't even look at me, she says she has nothing to say, so either we're just not friends of i've done something wrong.
ngaio is an angel, she understands me and does stand up for me. i love her sometimes i think nowendays she's one of my only true friends.
will is a babe, sweet and kind but only when he knows someone really needs it some he's not being nice because he doesn't know i need his help.
tom is trying to be a good ex but he gets lonely and sometime i kinda feel like it's my fault becuase we got so seuculed when we were together.
bessie is amazing really kind and im very sorry, that i'd hurt her she's special really. nothing more will happen. I'M CHANGING.

fresh start. im cutting out the sex.

because apparently sex is against the law the way people have being reacting.

OVER-REACTION BY A FRACTION

really ?!?!?

is that how little evryone cares ?

i miss you, charly i really do and ben.

i felt so left out at charly's. i would say something and there would be slience and then they're carry on the only normal person there was ngaio and will was being normal. but wills normal is mean and recently a little too mean.

i think people forget i had my heart broken

i was left, broken on the floor all my love poured out, me left in pieces. people forget that. i pretended to bounce back quickly. i pretended i was fine i though i was. then i started liking Kai and everything got excited and i think h e liked me too he just doesn't want to try and i can understand why he would want someone who's still broken. because i still am, i don't love him but he broken that faith i had in me that i was wroth it. so guess what now i gunna lose all my extra fat which i gunna take me and long time and I'm gunna be happy because no one is on my side. i felt like shit after Tom dumped me, like i wasn't worth him. and so yeah i screwed kai. everyone said that i had made him unclean no one asked me if i like him? if he liked me or was it just for sex? was it going anywhere? IF I WAS OKAY? no they just assumed that i was fucking him to make myself felling better by not caring about him.

and why is none of this said to my face and as soon as someone did everyone joined in like they were to scared to tell themselves.

schools hell for me now, no friends, whispers and sitting by myself at lunch times.

i'll miss you guys, i'll try and remember you as friends




please feel free to change how your acting so i can love you guys when im gone. and think about you fondly.